Try Gratitude to Increase Happiness

When I was a kid, I’d overhear my great-aunts saying things like, “Count your blessings!”  It turns out that this is great advice!  In fact, we should all work on being thankful, because gratitude is a research-backed way to boost happiness.  Studies on the behaviors of happy people show that they regularly express gratitude for what they have, and they don’t focus on what they don’t have.  This includes not only tangible items, like that phone upgrade you’ve been eyeing, but also the people who are important in your life and the experiences that bring meaning to your life.

So how can you practice gratitude?  First, just try thinking it.  Notice what you appreciate about your life.  Maybe it’s the few extra minutes of sleep the snooze button afforded you this morning, or the smile you got from the cashier as you dropped a tip in the jar.  Maybe it’s a hug from your mom, or a bonus check from work.  If you prefer, you can journal about it.  Write down a list of things you’re grateful for – research shows that you only need to do this once a week to reap the benefits.  So grab a note book or download an app (try Gratitude Jar) and get your gratitude on!  You can write down small things or big things, like having a supportive partner or a fulfilling career.  Furthermore, try sharing your gratitude with someone.  Tell them something good about your day or, better yet, tell them why you appreciate them!

Now that we’ve covered a few strategies, let’s talk about some reasons that gratitude works.  First, it promotes the savoring of positive life experiences.  Noticing the gifts in your life lets you maximize enjoyment from your current situation.  Like the feeling of how your heart melts when your toddler looks at you, even when they’ve woken you up for the fourth time that night.  Second, it helps people cope with stress and trauma.  Appreciating your circumstances offers a way to positively reinterpret a stressful or negative life experience.  Seeing the glass as still half full can help you feel better after you’ve spilled the other half.  Additionally, expressing gratitude tends to inhibit unhelpful comparisons with others.  When you’re thankful for what you have, you’re less likely to focus on and feel envious of what others have (like that new car your friend got).  Moreover, feeling grateful is incompatible with certain emotions, including anger, fear, guilt, and jealousy.  Try imagining that friend in their new car and then think of the time they dropped everything to bring you tissues and homemade lasagna the day your cat died.  

I hope you’re convinced about the power of gratitude at this point, but if you want more evidence (and more ideas on how to be happy), try reading “The How of Happiness” by Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD.  You can also reach out to us at Pewter Therapy Services – we’re happy to help you with your happy.

Boehm, J. K., & Lyubomirsky, S. (in press). The promise of sustainable happiness. In S. J. Lopez (Ed.), Handbook of positive psychology (2nd ed.). Oxford: Oxford University Press.